Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
