So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I can't put those talents on a resume
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
