I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
me + whiskey = a bad person
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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