all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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