Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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