She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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