Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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