Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
