I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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