no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
try to milk me bitch
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