I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
