Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
