i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
