he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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