Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
