I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Randomize
