Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
