i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
