I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
