just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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