The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
