the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
