Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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