Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize