she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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