I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
