I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
