yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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