I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
