I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
