Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize