That's intense
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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