I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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