birth control should be required to get into college
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
