My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
is this the sara with the beer cane?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
