How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
