Non-Jews are for practice
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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