hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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