I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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