Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
