I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
