butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
