Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
