put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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