I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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