Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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