I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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