2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Redeem this text for a blowjob
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think your dad took our porno
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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