my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
