these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
