And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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