I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
