I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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