Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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