a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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