so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
