Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
