the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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