I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
high people should be assigned attendants
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
