so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
