also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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