your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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