Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just cropdusted the office
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
