what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
