he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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