so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
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I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
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woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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