You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
