Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
