I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
