I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
