Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
